Gambling Jokes

Welcome to our gambling fun and jokes section. We all love a good joke or two, so site back and have a giggle. We will try to add one joke per week, so make sure you pop back when you can to catch the latest gambling jokes.

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"I need you to help me stop my son gambling," an anxious mother said to his son's  head master. "I don't know where he gets it from but it's always bet, bet, bet."
"Leave this to me," said the head master. Seven days later he phoned the boy's mother. "I think I've cured him," he said.
"How?"
"Well, I saw him looking at my large beard and he said, 'I bet that beard is false.'
'How much?' I said, and he said "£5 "
"What happened?" asked the mother.
"Well, he pulled my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me £5. I'm sure that will teach him a lesson or two."
"No, it won't," said the mother. "He bet me £10 this yesterday that he will pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!"

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Tim was down on his luck in Vegas. He had gambled away every cent of his money and had to borrow a dime from someone else just to use the men's toilet. The stall happened open, so he used the dime in a slots machines and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went straight to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into 5 million dollars.

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Tim went on the lecture circuit, where he told his amazing story. He told his audiences and followers that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man who gave hime that dime, he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you that dime."

"You're not the one I'm looking for. I'm looking for the guy who left the door open!"