Do you want to lose money gambling? Yes? Then you’ve come to the right place. We’re the only place on the world wide web with information about the best way to lose money gambling online.
1: Get drunk when you play
If you’re up for making reckless decisions that your future self will hate you for, get drunk! It gives you gambling skills you never knew you had, like the ability to lose a game of poker with a royal flush. When you’re blottoed, you’ll think it’s the perfect time to fold.
And those spinning slot reels will help you to feel queasy enough to participate in a round of multicoloured singing right there on the casino floor. You might not lose, but you won’t win any money once the bouncers throw you out.
So, you might not get that bad when you’re drunk, but even for the most moderate of drinkers, alcohol is still a disinhibitor and that means taking risks that sober you would never take. Sometimes it might even pay off, but most of the time drinking and gambling are things you should pair only if you want to lose money.
There’s a reason the casinos give punters complimentary drinks.
2: Relieve your bad mood by gambling
Just argued with the other half? Maybe your dog just licked your birthday cake? Whatever happened, gambling can be a great distraction. When you lose your money, you’ll be swapping one bad feeling for another bad feeling and some people will find that relieving. I’d much rather worry about losing a couple of grand than admitting that I probably need to change jobs because my boss passed me up for promotion, again.
Gambling when you’re in a bad mood is a surefire way to lose money. You won’t be in the right frame of mind for making rational decisions, and that’s the perfect state-of-mind for losing!
Using gambling as a crutch to help manage your emotions is common, but therapy is a much better way of handling it.
3: Adopt a narcissistic view of your gambling skills
So you’ve accumulated a couple of grand through your gambling endeavours? This is the perfect time for developing a big head! No one in the history of gambling has ever been up as much as you are right now. You’ve got the Midas touch, every bet you make comes out on top. You’ve mastered the online slots, you know the sports betting landscape inside out, you can’t lose; you should definitely bet all your winnings on red.
This is one of the most common ways to lose money gambling. There’s something about experiencing a lucky streak that makes people believe it’s a reflection of their skills. You’ll find the gambling forums awash with stories of people who accumulated a lot of money only to lose it all in a single session.
Not keeping your narcissistic tendencies in check is a brilliant way to get ahead of yourself and lose money.
4: Believe other people’s hype
So your mate told you he’s got a sure bet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s such a common thing for people to want you to believe they have special knowledge, and it happens in all walks of life.
It’s not even malicious. Most people believe their own hype (see point 3 above). But just because they’re buying into it, doesn’t mean you have to too. Tips can help you win, but you should never take them as a given win…ever. Even when the game’s rigged, you can still lose – just look at what happens to Hatchet Harry from Lockstock. He rigs the game but still loses in the end:
There’s no such thing as a sure bet.
5: You’re desperate to pay a bill and it’s the only thing you think will help
Desperate times call for desperate measures, so they say. But if your desperate times are making you turn towards gambling, that’s a great way to lose money. When you’re trying everything you can to make ends meet, it can make you a little manic.
That’s bad for decision making.
If you have an outstanding bill and you think, “I know what might work, betting everything I have on the lottery!”, the universe conspires to show you how silly that idea is by making you lose it all.
The best thing to do if you’re strapped for cash and struggling to pay a bill is to get in contact with the supplier and explain the situation. They usually have resources to help, such as repayment plans. There’s lots of help for problem debt – the first point of call: The Government’s Debt Help Page.
Of course, if you don’t want to lose money, just do the opposite of these 5 things.
Harvey Dickenson
Safe Gambling Specialist
Harvey Dickenson is our safe gambling specialist. Harvey is a recreational poker player and an expert in online casino safety, cons, and scams.