If you’re a regular reader here, you know that we like to write hard-hitting stories. Today, I thought I’d write something a little more light-hearted. I’m going to look at some crazy ways that people have taken their gambling habits too far. By the end of this article, you’ll either be relieved to learn that you’re gambling habits aren’t too bad, or you’ll have an “Uh oh, I think I gamble too much” moment.
Don’t worry if it’s the latter; there’s plenty of help available. Follow this link to read our blog about ways to get help if you gamble too much.
Now let’s see what shenanigans the crazy cats get up to in the darker corners of the gambling world.
You Might Be Gambling Too Much If You Put Your Kids in a Casino Crèche
Yep, that’s correct. Some casinos have day-care facilities for their customers and staff. If you work for the casino and put your kids in, that’s fine. BUT, if you’re putting your kids in daycare just so you can go gambling, it might be time to ask yourself some questions.
To be honest, though, you tend to find these crèches in casino holiday resorts. For example, Las Vegas has a few. It also means that the facilities are fantastic – the biggest jungle gyms and ball pits you’ve ever seen.
So, perhaps putting your kids in once during a holiday is fine – good even. It’s when you’re putting them in there regularly that you have to question your gambling habits.
You Wear a Nappy to Keep Your Place at the Slot Machine
Did you read that and think something along the lines of, “No way people do that!” Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but some hard-core slot enthusiasts do just that. They don’t want to lose their place at the slot machines in case a lurker poaches their luck.
You know you’ve slipped far down the rabbit hole if you’re willing to stand at a slot machine and **** yourself in public. I don’t want to scare you even more, but some people (who haven’t come up with the brilliant nappy idea) actually poop on the floor.
Yes, it’s time for an intervention.
And may I suggest that, if you do feel like that, you consider the online slots instead of visiting your local casino? As long as you have an internet connection, you can play anywhere, including the toilet. Plus, there’s no one around to steal your luck, so you can take a toilet break without fear!
The Pit Boss Tells You to Refer to the Casino’s Self-Exclusion Programme
Pit bosses aren’t known for their discouragement of gambling. In fact, they generally have a bad reputation for egging people on, happily watching you waste your life savings so they can get a nice bonus.
So when a pit boss tells you that it might be time to consider signing up to the casino’s self-exclusion programmes, it’s definitely a way to tell if you’re gambling too much.
Your Spouse or Significant Other Comes to the Casino with You to Cry Over Your Shoulder
Yep, if you speak to people who work in places like Las Vegas and Macau, they’ll have at least one such story. A story about a wife, husband, father, mother, sibling, friend standing over their husband, wife, son, daughter, sibling friend and crying as they play the slots/poker tables/blackjack tables/etc.
If your loved one has come to the casino to stop you from gambling, but you can’t stop, then maybe you’re gambling too much.
You’re Spending All Day Gambling in a Convenience Store
OK, so this one is only going to apply to people in Las Vegas. In the city of sin, some of the convenience stores have slot machines inside. You can go and buy a pint of milk, a loaf of bread, and take a few spins on Mega Moolah.
It’s not unheard of for people to spend all day on one of those machines – especially if the person playing has kids. That’s because convenience stores allow kids inside, casinos don’t, and not everyone can afford a casino crèche, especially if they’re spending 8-hours a day on a slot machine.
You Die in the Casino
I guess if you’re reading this, you’re not dead. Dying there isn’t a sign that you have a problem per se (a gambling problem, you do have a not being alive problem) because people can die anywhere.
But if you talk to any croupier, you’ll discover that they have at least one story about someone having a heart attack. Compare this to other types of entertainment – restaurants, cinemas, bars, etc. – and the stories aren’t as common.
That does indicate that it happens more frequently in casinos than other places. Disclaimer: this is anecdotal. I don’t have any science to back it up. The entire article is anecdotal. It’s the stories I’ve heard from the people I know in the casino industry.
So, if you find yourself dying at the casino, it could be that you’ve spent too much time there or you’ve over-excited yourself to the point of a heart attack. Both of those reasons indicate that you might gamble too much, but don’t worry because…
You Don’t Have Any Money, but You Hang Around the Casino Giving Advice
A “straggler” – that’s what the casinos call them. These are people who wander through the casino giving punters random bits of advice, like “put it on red”. They can’t help but gamble, even when they have no money.
If you live vicariously through other people’s gambling habits, it’s time to reflect.
If your kids are safe in normal daycare, your underwear is unsoiled, no one is telling you to self-exclude or crying over your shoulder when you gamble, you’re not dead, and you don’t live vicariously through other gamblers, you can at least rest assured that there are some people whose gambling habits are worse than yours are.