Things You Should NEVER Say In A Casino

The casinos have just reopened, but, after a few months, people have become feral – it feels like it at least. Before you head back to your favourite roulette wheel, you need to remember your manners because casino bouncers don’t mess around. They’ll throw you out before you can say, “Jackpot Robinson“.

If you need a refresher in behaving in public after those months of isolation, then this article can help. Below, you’ll find a list of things you should never say in a casino – you should avoid saying them in the online casinos‘ chat rooms too.

“THESE GAMES ARE FIXED!”

Casinos don’t take kindly to people who call them cheats. The good ones don’t like it because you’re trashing their reputation, the bad because you’re bringing it to people’s attention.

Fortunately, you wouldn’t be silly enough to visit a bad casino like that – they’re generally unofficial casinos that you’ll only get access to if you’re part of the criminal underbelly. At least, that’s what the movies told me.

It’s not just the casino that you’re annoying with this, but other guests too. As long as you’re gambling with a licenced casino, the games aren’t fixed. You’ve just forgotten the golden rule of gambling, “The House Always Wins”. If you think the games are fixed, the truth is that you’re just losing, like everyone else.

People don’t want to hear you moaning about something normal and expected. You’re ruining their vibe. Don’t go to the casino expecting to win – it’s the play that makes it fun. Once you’re fixated on winning, you’re flirting with dangerous territory, namely a gambling problem.

“Nice T*ts, Love”

Take the asterisk however you want.

Don’t comment on the croupier’s tats. First, some casinos expect them to hide their tattoos because it offends a certain type of high-roller. If you draw attention to them, the casino might decide to get rid of that dealer/croupier.

Don’t comment on British people’s tuts. Tutting is a national sport at this point. If you start commenting on the tuts we make when the wrong cards get dealt, expect us to hit you hard with a major, and I mean major, tutting campaign.

Don’t comment on other guest’s tots. Chances are if you see a tot in the casino, they probably aren’t meant to be there. Unless the casino has a creche, if you spot a child, it might be unwise to mention it…maybe…

Can you think of any more t*ts words? We can’t, but if you can, it’s probably unwise to shout it at dealers or bar staff.

“Oi, Everyone! Look At That Whale!”

It’s never really acceptable to point at someone and call them a whale. They especially don’t like it when you draw other people’s attention to them. It’s public humiliation.

But when you’re playing at the casino, there’s another reason you shouldn’t say it out loud, and definitely not to other gamblers. In casino speak, a whale is a high roller that’s not very good at their chosen game.

In other words, someone you can easily beat and win money from without feeling too guilty. Obviously, you don’t want other people to spot the whale because it makes you less likely to win.

“Where’s My Complimentary Steak Dinner?!”

Some casinos give complimentary dinners when people win, but don’t embarrass yourself by asking for one after winning a tenner. The casinos save these perks for big winners.

You’ll look like a prat asking for perks from tiny wins. Surprisingly, the dealers at real-world casinos often complain about customers who ask them for free stuff. It’s not uncommon for people to be cheeky and ask for free poker chips and drinks.

“You Want To Hold On This Hand/Spin/Number”

There’s always one. The annoying tactician who knows exactly what you need to do to win. If you do this, please stop. It’s annoying, and if it was true, you should be doing it yourself.

I don’t care if your uncle went to MIT or your grandad was James Bond. It’s irritating.

Takeaway

As long as you don’t say the things above, you’re fine. You’re just another gambler having fun now we’re finally allowed out again. Good luck!

 

Stick figure shouting at another one to represent shouting in a casino